My first child didn't sleep through the night until she was 20 months. And my second was such a blur that I honestly can't tell you when she began to, but I think it was earlier than that?
Newborn sleep can be unpredictable and exhausting - I remember asking a veteran mom, "Is it normal to cry from being so tired?".
Sleep training didn't make sense to us, so I leaned into nursing as my sole reliable way to make it through that first year, continuing on through our 20th month until she finally slept through the night.
If you are here though, chances are you have been patiently waiting for your now toddler to finally cut back on night nursing, but seeing no end in sight.
Going literally years as your child's sole comfort to get through the night is a lot! And if you are feeling burnt out by it (but not necessarily ready to wean completely), then this guide is for you.
And let me guess... you're co-sleeping, right?
If you are like us, it may have also been something you would have *never* done before actually having kids.
My philosophy about toddler sleep is do whatever you need to that is safe for them and that gets the most sleep for everyone.
I feel it is important to say that so you know I will not judge you based on whatever your current sleeping arrangement is.
Toddler Sleep Mistakes
Before I get into the best ways to help guide your nursing toddler to longer stretches of sleep, here are 3 of the most common issues I see with clients who are trying to cut back on night nursing:
- Going cold turkey. This backfires about 99% of the time and has you and your child up for hours, most likely both in tears by the end.
- Having your partner take over. This is in and of itself not a bad thing, but is usually done in too big of a step without proper preparation for your child to feel comfortable.
- Give in. It can be so very hard to see your child upset, but giving in and nursing can set you back further than if you took much smaller steps to get to your ultimate goal.
What Are Your Sleep Goals?
Before you consider any action steps, it is really important to determine which goal takes top priority for you. Here is a list of example goals clients have set:
- Switch from on-demand night nursing to only 1 feed a night.
- Get her to sleep in her own bed.
- Cut his 2 night nursing sessions and only nurse to sleep.
- Get her to accept dad at bedtime.
- Identify 1 additional way to comfort her back to sleep before weaning.
Each of these goals (and should) be broken down further into smaller action steps that will feel less overwhelming to your child, which will also provide you will wins that will boost your confidence that this can actually be done!
"I literally have no idea how often she nurses. I'm like a Vegas buffet - open all night"
If this is you, then the first step is to try to quantify the number of times your toddler is nursing. Are they waking often and mostly getting small snacks and comfort to get back to sleep? Or are they having multiple full breastfeeding sessions? Knowing where you are starting is important to so you can move to where you want to be.
Guidance Moving Forward
Gentle weaning should be based on the unique needs of each breastfeeding mom and child. Your child's age, food intake, child care circumstances, and more all impact what might be causing continued night nursing.
"They're just using you as a pacifier"
No, they're not. Comfort nursing is an extremely valid reason for them to want to nurse. Showing them additional ways to connect with you besides nursing can also fill their cup so they don't rely only on milk to feel THAT bond.
Get the Guide
To learn more strategies to implement today with your toddler for improved sleep, CLICK HERE to download my "Toddler Night Nursing: 4 Tips to More Sleep" Guide.
Book a Call
Not quite sure where to start? BOOK A CALL with me. In just 15 minutes, you could be on your way to better sleep. You've done this long enough alone, am I right?
Take the Quiz
If you are unsure if you are ready to fully wean, or just get more sleep, then my free Extended Breastfeeding Quiz is for you. Learn which of the 5 stages of toddler weaning you are in, as well as tips based on specifically where you are in your nursing journey.
No matter how, I promise you this: Your child WILL eventually sleep through the night.
Today, both my kids sleep around 10-11 hours. I have been regularly getting 7 hours on average, which has been a game changer for my mental and physical health! I promise, one day soon, you will too.
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